The Sock Thief

I don’t like to over exaggerate, but I think it’s an understatement to refer to “the curious case of missing socks” as anything less than a worldwide pandemic. My hate for the ghost of the sock drawer has always been pretty high, but over the last three weeks he (men always steal so it has to be a man) has messed with my head too much and it’s time I acted… by blogging about it.

Being efficient with my budget I set out to the “shop of dreams” (Primark) and invested in 7 pairs of socks, but these socks were no ordinary socks, they had the days of the week on them! That way I thought I would never be out of socks and I could plan my daily foot warmers efficiently and effectively.

Monday: I wore my Monday socks. Put them in the wash.
Tuesday: I wore my Tuesday socks. Put them in the wash. Got Mondays back
Wednesday: I wore my Wednesday Socks. Put them in the wash. Got 1 of Tuesday’s back… Where in God’s name did the other one go?! Did it evaporate in the wash? Did it run away when I wasn’t looking, or has our friend Mr sock thief stuck again!
Thursday: I wore my Thursday socks. Put them in the wash. Got both Wednesday socks back
Friday: (still angry about Tuesday’s sock): I wore my Friday socks. Put them in the wash, went to get Thursday’s… and they were no where to be seen. I mean seriously… what?! WHERE AND HOW?! One sock going is traumatic enough let alone when they both go!
Saturday: I wore my Saturday socks, put them in the wash. Reclaimed Friday’s socks! Distraught at the tragic loss of Tuesday’s sock, I decided to bin the other one and go sockless every Tuesday and Thursday.
Sunday: I wore my Sunday socks (the last pair!). Put them in the wash. Got Saturday’s back

So in a week I had lost three socks and binned another. 7 pairs began, only 5 remain. The week after was more successful. Nothing really to report, and same with the week after… I was on a roll! and then today happened.

Today: I got my Friday socks back, after putting my Saturday ones in the wash, and what did I find… Tuesday’s sock. The sock that I lost nearly three weeks ago… I was delighted, finally I could reunite my Tuesday socks back together, or I should have been able to, if I hadn’t thrown the other one away because I thought the other one had gone forever!

The sock thief waited until I threw the other one away before presenting me with my other sock back. Damn you sock thief. We as the human race must stand up to this thief and see him brought to justice. (I’m serious). But in the mean time, here are a few lessons!

  1. Don’t buy socks with days of the week on, they can really screw your week up.
  2. The where about of my Thursday socks are yet to be discovered
  3. Don’t by socks from Primark, they are not worth a thing! Especially the whole £3 I paid for them.

2 thoughts on “The Sock Thief

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